some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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