that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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