I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
