No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Randomize
