I want to stick my p in your. b.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You can't special order awesome
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
