Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize