i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
