Yo dont text me then not text me
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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