Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I need to align my fucking chakras
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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