brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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