I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
