i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
