His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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