Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
