One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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