i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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