the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
two words...techno handjob
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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