is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Also, beer. Big fan.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
