i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
