I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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