were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just pee around me
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
