Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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