and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
