first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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