i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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