I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
