And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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