Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
