try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
this hospital has no fireball
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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