In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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