i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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