It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
