her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
