On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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