everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
