Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just had sex on a roof
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