Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
