Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
oh god the rape fog is back!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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