You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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