Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize