i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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