is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
