but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
