if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
