had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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