I didn't shave. On purpose
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
