omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
