I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
