this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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