You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
