I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
