i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
