i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
