Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i think i just lost a toe
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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