I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
