I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
