id be glad to
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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