He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
