Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
