you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
