OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
