Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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