So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
