Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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