Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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