I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
