You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
