3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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