wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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