I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
