absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
